Bad Bali

"My own life has been much more than a fairy tale. I've had my share of difficult moments, but whatever difficulties I've gone through, I've always gotten the prize at the end." (Audrey Hepburn)

I had to wake up at 3 in the morning to get to the airport at 4 so I could be on my flight at 6:15. Lovely. It was sad saying goodbye to R especially because I knew I would be on my own again. Thankfully I slept for the majority of the flight (only about 4 hours) and was relatively alert when we landed. Everything went pretty smoothly, my visa is $25 (other currencies are accepted as well, I paid in Thai Baht), and I got my bag immediately! I went right to Kuta beach because I heard it’s really easy to get a place to stay because it’s filled with tourists and guesthouses.  I found a place on Poppies Lane I and then went and got some food. By that time it was mid afternoon and decided to be ambitious and stay awake through the afternoon. I went to the beach for a bit but it was really crowded. I was planning on having a pretty low-key night but then I got a party invitation. R hooked me up with a guy (M) who works at a guesthouse in Bali (one he stayed at when he was there) and also gives tours. So M messaged me saying they were having a party at his hotel and he could pick me up and take me back whenever I wanted. I was tired but thought it would be great to meet people.

The party did not exactly go as I had imagined. It turned out to be a birthday party for the boss of the guesthouse, which meant pretty much all locals. Now I am all about true local experiences and really getting to know the people where I am visiting. However, I was very tired and had really been looking forward to meet tourists so I could find people to travel with so I was a bit put off. But I naturally tried to make the best of my situation, M was really nice and his wife A was absolutely adorable and so kind, and everyone they introduced me to was very friendly and spoke pretty good English. Things were turning out decently until M’s cousin D started talking to me. First it was friendly then it was getting to that borderline flirtatious which first and foremost I found plain annoying because I was very tired (physically) and a bit nervous emotionally from it being my first day alone in a new country. I thought it inappropriate that he would be almost hitting on me when I was a potential new client of his cousin. After I had stayed as long as I thought was necessary I told A and M I needed to go back so I could go to sleep. But they asked D to take me back. I wasn’t thrilled but I didn’t really think much about it. Not a good ride. First of all, he drove like a madman, and not in the good way. I love bikes and I love going fast and am not afraid, but he was not driving responsibly. Second, he really started to hit on me, asking if I had a boyfriend, saying he wanted to see me again…everything that could make a girl feel uncomfortable and annoyed at the same time! I was so relived to get back safely and thankful I was alright. I took a walk to clear my head and decided I was leaving Kuta Beach the next day. I felt really bad because I told M and A that I was going to come stay at the place they worked in the morning and I had really meant it. But after the ride and the thought of seeing D all the time changed my mind completely. I went to sleep tired and lonely.

Saturday was not a good day. I am embarrassed to say it but I totally and completely lost all of my motivation and stayed in bed all day. I just didn’t want to get up and try to do anything. I felt homesick and alone and just couldn’t pull myself together. Eventually I showered and got dinner but I still felt sad. I promised myself that I really would leave the next day and go to Ubud like I had wanted. I thought I would forget all the bullshit and start fresh there. Unfortunately this was not the case.

When I went to check out in the morning my bill for my room was way more expensive than I had been told. They assured me no one could have possibly said that to me but I was determined. I would have never stayed in a place that cost so much. Eventually we came to a compromise (which I still felt was too much) and I left pissed off and extremely anxious to get to Ubud and get away from Kuta. I found a great deal for a mini bus, which a very nice man helped me with. I got some food and shortly after the bus came. I got to sit up front because the driver told me I was the only person alone so I got to be comfortable. We made a couple stops and picked up the others (who ALL turned out to be French) and were on our way. Then the trouble started again, the driver started hitting on me. Now I am really never one to harp so much about guys hitting on me, but when it is like this I get upset. I was not in the mood and got mad. The ride would have been comfortable had it not been for the driver asking me questions every 5 minutes (mainly about what my plans were and if I had a boyfriend). I was very relieved to get there. I immediately started walking with 3 guys from the bus (I was not taking any more chances) but ended up on my own after a bit. I found a decent place and decided to get some food…except that I couldn’t because my wallet was gone.

Deep down I knew it was gone and there wasn’t anything I could do. But I obviously searched everywhere first before I started to cry. I had to wait for a few hours because it was only around 3 in the morning in the States so I couldn’t call my parents yet. I couldn’t get food and sit at a café because I had no money (I actually had about $30 which I changed into rupiah but that was to pay for my room and the little money I had left I wanted to save for dinner or transportation). I spent the afternoon trying to read and just not think about it (obviously impossible). In loosing my wallet I lost (besides the actual wallet itself which I was very sad about because I had gotten it in Nepal and really liked it) 2 debit cards, 1 credit card, my driver’s license, and my cash. The license I don’t need and can be easily replaced when I get home. The cards were canceled once I called my parents. Unfortunately there was nothing I could do about my cash and all I could think was that I am lucky I don’t keep my passport in my wallet. 

My Dad fixed everything once I told him what had happened. Him and my Step Mother have a ton of points at the Marriott and he arranged for me to be picked up the next day and to stay there until my new cards arrived (which were going to be sent there). I felt glad that everything was ok but more sad and alone than ever. It felt like I wasn’t meant to be in Bali. I had wanted to come to Bali for so long (just like Thailand) and I almost felt that it was rejecting me. I didn’t fall asleep for a long time that night.

On Monday I left Ubud and went to the Marriott Courtyard in Nusa Dua (south of Kuta Beach). I didn’t end up getting there until mid afternoon because there had been some confusion with the directions. I got checked in and everything and felt really weird. Obviously everything was extremely nice (the hotel itself, my room, the pool, the staff, etc.) and again I was really thankful that not only my parents could help me but they could help me in this nice of a way….BUT! The best way I can describe my feelings was that I felt like a) I didn’t deserve to be at so nice of a place and b) that I was “cheating” on being a true traveller. Let me explain. When I stayed at the Marriott in India for a day and a half with Sh and O I had been in India for about 5 weeks. I had been spending almost nothing, washing my own cloths, not having an air con (and sometimes not even a fan) in extreme heat, going on 13-hour sleeper buses, and having freezing showers. I felt like I deserved a little luxury! But I was in Thailand, which was really nice and even in Cambodia and Lao the accommodations were pretty decent. So I kind of felt like I didn’t need all this luxury was unnecessary. I also really liked the fact that I stay in cheap places, eat street food, and buy my clothing in side alleys. To me this marks one of the many differences between being on holiday and travelling. I have always felt I was a traveller at heart and now I actually was one. Being at so nice of a place felt like a cop out. I know this is all a bit ridiculous, but it’s how I felt.

Very unfortunately I let all of these feelings destroy my Tuesday. I stayed in bed again all day feeling sad and not wanting to get up. The longer I stayed the more embarrassed I got. What was happening? A week ago I had been seeing the world and now I didn’t want to get out from under the covers? After I took a shower and had dinner I knew it all had to change. I was going to stop acting sorry for myself and try taking advantage of a good opportunity. Maybe I wasn’t going to meet anyone, but I could do something else, I could really use my time to see Bali. I went to bed knowing that’s what I was going to do.

On Wednesday I got up and booked a driver to take me to see the sunset at the Uluwatu Temple. Then I had lunch and spent some time by the pool and got some sun. Around 4:45 I got driven to Pura Luhur Uluwatu (about 45 minutes away from the hotel) to watch the sun set. Wow! It was so beautiful, right by the water and in the middle of all these beautiful trees and flowers. I explored and walked around and remembered why I was here (in Bali, traveling) and even smiled when a VERY large monkey stole my water bottle. At around 6:30 I went to an outdoor semicircle theater for a Kecak performance (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kecak). Personally, I loved it; I thought it was beautiful and full of magic. In Kecak there is what is described as a chorus of men who make the music for the performance a cappella. They sit in a circle for the whole time and the actors move all around them. There was a big fire in the center and the sun had just set. The story of Rama was told in this style, no words spoken, just dance and the special chant from the chorus. It was amazing.

When I got back to the hotel I immediately booked a driver for the next day and got some good suggestions of what I should go and see. I am out of my slump and ready to get back out there! Very excited!

Signed,

Back On Track