On My Own

“Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage!” (The Wizard of Oz)

As my Mother has happened to be a therapist my whole life I became very good at identifying my feelings, analyzing myself, and self-reflection from a very early age. Therefore, I can comfortably say that one of my biggest faults is being way too hard on myself and to not give myself enough credit. I don’t do it to fish for compliments, rather in an attempt to be modest which ends up sounding as though I am sometimes belittling myself. I am now going to take a moment and be out of character. I think I am amazing! I spent 4 months volunteering and doing work that I believed in and loved, living with people who did not speak English as a first language (although their English was all very good!), and completely emerging myself in another culture. I worked hard and am sincerely proud of the work I did. Despite feelings of confusion and homesickness I continued to press on and follow my heart to do what I have always dreamed: to travel the world. When I wanted to go to Thailand (top priority on my list) and my friends wanted to stay in India I went on my own. That plane ride was just as scary as the one I took from Israel to Nepal (in a very different way) and just like then I succeeded. I have made new friends and seen the places I wanted to see because I was brave enough to leave the comforts of my friends behind.

This was all extremely difficult. Travel in itself is hard but although I have ended up not spending a lot of time on my own, every time I go off I am mentally prepared for not finding anyone and just being on my own. For me, I am always really terrified that I won’t meet anyone and something will go wrong and that spirals into the “what if” scenarios that are silly and unavoidable. But after a month of being on my own I can really and truly say that I am proud of myself and. I think doing this has given me more confidence and faith in myself not only as a traveler but as a person. During TBT and while in India with my friends I began to loose my usual ability to be outgoing and extroverted, however, this forced me to bring that skill back in full swing and I could not be more happy about it! I have met some truly amazing people who I will hopefully be keeping touch with for a long time.

For anyone contemplating traveling but the fear of doing it alone is holding you back, I get it. But I would also highly recommend giving yourself a push and going for it! Going to Thailand is a great way to start because there are so many tourists which makes it especially easy to meet people and make fast friends. Bangkok in particular is easy to get around and safe to walk around alone at night (for girls). A great place to start being brave!

In about a week I will be on my own again and off to Bali. I know I will be nervous but I also know I can do it…and anything else I put my mind to.

Signed,

Modestly Proud