End of Bali

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” (Marcel Proust)

Sunday I went back to Bali. M and I took a boat back to Padang Bai (a very rocky ride) and then had a bus to a guesthouse in Jumbara (near Kuta beach). The ride wasn’t supposed to take more than 2 hours…so naturally it took over 3. We stayed at this surfer guesthouse where M had been staying before. It was a slow week so there were lots of extra rooms. We went and got food immediately and then came back and I crashed for a good 2 hours. We had dinner and then came back and hung out and watched a movie. Then again, I was out!

Finally Monday came. Went to Kuta beach and did some last minute errands and then went to the beach for a while. Then we took a bike to a beach in Nusa Dua (where I also stopped at the Marriott to pick up my new debit card which finally came) and took this beautiful walk. We tried to go swimming but there were too many rocks in the water. We went back to Jumbara and I packed up and showered. Then I just hung out and waited until my cab came to take me to the airport.

I am all checked in and through security and waiting for my flight to Seoul (where I have a 6 and a half hour layover before my flight to Tel Aviv). I feel heartbroken and I can’t even put it into words. I really want to go home and see my family and friends and be able to drink tap water but I feel like I will just be empty if I leave Asia. There are only a couple of people who I can not only talk to but who will really understand and part of me just wants to call them and cry. However I can’t because they are in the States and they are working and because that is not how this is supposed to go. This has always been my journey alone and at the end of the day I have come to really rely on myself. I have learned that I am there for me and am dependable. I didn’t really think I would be able to do all this: being gone for so long and being so far away, backpacking for so long, traveling on my own at all let alone for 2 months, and doing all of this without having a breakdown. I have just gotten really used to this way of life and although I am pretty exhausted from travel, I love so many things about Asian culture and I don’t want to give that up. I just know it is so easy to get back into old habits once you have everything that you are used to.

I think it’s good that I am ending in Israel for the same reason it was good to start there. I will be back in the West but it’s not home yet. I will have a little under 2 weeks to do some adjusting just back into Western way of life (but hopefully with some new habits) before I really take the plunge and actually go back to the States. I am excited to see my family and my friends and just to be in Israel. I have no idea how this last part of my journey will go but I am just so happy with everything that has happened in the last 8 months and so sad to be leaving it.

Signed,

Smiling with Tears